After considering your current situation, you may have some ideas
already for goals that you and your family (or other planning
participants) may wish to set for yourselves. Before you forget about
those, it's a good idea to write them down.
If you are using Pathways for planning, you can put them into your
plan as tentative, "unchosen" outcomes. There is a good chance that
you won't have the time or money to do all of them, but this way you
can keep track of them all and then decide which are practical to
pursue. Pathways also lets you organize them into groups, or "paths."
When people set goals for themselves, there is a tendency to think
only of solutions to immediate problems (to address things that are
"missing in their life" or that are known problems). However, in order
to have a better plan that prepares you, your family and others for a
wide array of good opportunities, it is a good idea to do a bit more
thinking.
So, here are a few exercises to try in order to come up with a
wholesome list of wishes:
Consider your ideals. What is your ideal self, ideal family, ideal
community, and ideal world? How does your ideal differ from what is
in your "status quo" plan?
Consider your responsibilities. Are there any that you are failing to
meet? (Hint: It's a good idea to at least wish to fulfil them!)
Consider your talents. Of the many good things you
could do beyond fulfilling your responsibilities, what are some things
you do well, where you could make the most impact for the benefit of you,
your family, your friends, your community, or your world?
Consider the Future. You already set a time horizon for your
plan, and maybe future stages of life such as starting a family, having
a career, retirement, or leaving a legacy aren't in it yet. Even so,
it wouldn't hurt to give a little thought to things you may like to do
now to prepare you for the future.
If you are doing this planning with a group such as family members, you
can hold a "brainstorming" session. Sit in a circle, and take turns shouting
out wishes, while one person writes them down. If someone can't think of
anything to add when their turn arises, they simply say "pass" and you move
to the next person.
You can do this as multiple rounds, to come up with wishes associated with
ideals, responsibilities, talents, or the future. When the group runs out of
ideas (everyone says "pass") the round is done.
This could give you a long list of ideas--too many to plan for all at once!
However, it may also give you some wonderful ideas you hadn't thought of
already.
For each wish that you identify, write down who it benefits, what motive(s)
it satisfies for them, and to what extent.
Using colour coding will help you to set some priorities for your wishes.
Is it a joyful opportunity
("green" status), or a very joyful one ("double-green")? Or is it to get rid
of something painful (that has a "red" status) or worse (double-red)?
Keep in mind that a wish can also have some degree of work associated with
fulfilling it ("yellow" status, for minor displeasure), but that is the
nature of life. Some things also have a mild pleasure, which I suggest that
you mark as a "blue" status (not really sad, but not quite as good as "green"
either).
Now you can pick some of the wishes that matter most to you and the people
who you care about, who you considering in your plan now. (Remember also that this
is an iterative process. An idea you don't plan for now can still be
revisited later.)
Q&A (Questions and Answers)
What is an ideal?
If you are to consider ideals, what is an ideal? It is a preferred way
of satisfying motives!
Happiness comes from satisfying motivators on a regular basis over
extended time, but there can be more than one way of satisfying a motive.
Some of those ways can have unwanted side effects. Those that do not are
the preferred or "ideal" method.
Here's an example: In ancient times, when young men felt that they
needed some excitement in their life, they would go to war. That
would indeed give them some excitement, but you can readily see that
there are many adverse consequences of it! What is a better
substitute that would satisfy the same motive? Answer: sports! So,
the motive is excitement and the ideal solution is a society where
non-violent competitive activity serves as the ideal means of
satisfying the motive.
Now is the time to apply a little imagination. Ask yourself:
what kind of world would you like to live in, that would enable you
to satisfy your motives without adverse consequences?
How do you turn an ideal into a wish?
A wish is typically something that doesn't exist now that you
would like to bring into being in the future. So, if the world now
is less than ideal, that gives rise to a wish. A wish implies an
action item is needed to make the wish come true.
Some of the ideals you define will be traits, or "states of being"
rather than outcomes. To illustrate the difference, suppose one of
your ideals is honesty. Would you put it in your plan to be honest
from Jan 1 onward, for a period of one month? Or maybe from then
until the rest of your life? If so, how much of your time and money
should you allocate to being honest?
Honesty may be an ideal, but it is a policy rather than an outcome to
put on a schedule. If you are using Pathways for planning, the policy
will go in the Pathways Advisor (policy book), but it won't go into
your plan unless there is some action to be taken to bring the ideal
into being. So, for example, if you feel that your children need
instruction in honesty, you could put that on a plan, and perhaps the
"outcome" of honesty among them would result.
What is a responsibility?
If you used the colour coding as described above, so that you
can see the impact of wishes on plan participants, that gives only
a rough indication of importance. What combination of wish fulfillment
will give the most happiness?
It turns out that it is very difficult to
measure happiness accurately.
It is especially tough to determining the importance of
individual contributions where many people contribute a small amount,
such as in contributions to a charity. When there is a huge problem that seems
practically infinite, how important is an infinitessimal contribution?
However, a society can put a boundary on any problem, which then makes it
possible to calculate each person's share for solving it. Perhaps a nation
doesn't have capacity itself to solve world hunger or cure every disease,
but it is a limited problem to guarantee food for all of
its own citizens, or to provide medicine for diseases with a known cure.
A nation will typically use a democratic process to set a standard that will
provide:
A defined benefit to its own members, plus some degree of improvement to
the world outside its borders, and
A defined responsibility, which is the duty of members to share a part of
the burden of providing the benefit.
Societies often assign the duties according to roles, whereby each parent will
have responsibility for his/her offspring, physicians will have responsibilities
to their patients, wage-earners will have responsibilities to pay taxes,
etc.
So, the responsibility is taken at the person's most important activity, and
typically each person is left with some surplus capacity to do good things
beyond that, according to their own discretion.
From the perspective of an individual planner, the person first meets
their responsibilities. Then, they calculate their surplus time and
money, which has already been handled in the previous step of the
Pathways method. Lastly, they decide based on their own personal
values what things are most in need of improvement, that they would
like to apply their spare resources to.
Why do your talents matter?
There is one more element to consider: your knowledge and abilities.
Although anyone with spare money can contribute to a charity, not
everyone has the capability to volunteer, or to do professional work
to achieve the desired outcome.
In a modern society, people specialize so that collectively they can
accomplish many more different things than could be achieved in
ancient times. For this, multiple roles that are needed. There are
many different kinds of professions that are needed, and other kinds
of roles such as parent, volunteer, coach, teacher, etc.
So, this is the time to narrow the list of potential good things you
could apply your time to, in order to identify those things that you
have capability and capacity to do. You capability is determined by
your knowledge and skill. Your capacity is determined by your
surplus time.
Throughout your life you will be learning, and perhaps there is some
good thing you would like to do that you don't quite know how to do
yet. So, when considering your capability, you may also include
capabilities you don't have yet, that you will plan for in the next
stages of this Pathways Planning Method.
To do this, you must consider what kinds of things you most enjoy
doing, what talents you have, and what kinds of roles the world needs
most (that you judge to be of value).
How can you plan for an uncertain future?
When planning with your family, you will find that you cannot plan
roles for your children far in advance. Your little children will not
know what profession they will want many years in the future, or what
kind of volunteer work they will want to do. Their immediate role is
as a student (both in school and out) and their choice of roles is in
what things they will learn beyond the required topics in their
school.
You must also consider that your life will change over time. A child's
life changes as they become an adult. An adult's life changes as they
change careers, marry and have a family, or reach retirement.
It is a valuable exercise to consider what you will want in future
life stages. Even when the future is not known precisely, there are
some ideals that can be considered. For example, a child might
recognize that when they grow up they would like to marry and have
their own family. You can see this in little children as they play --
that they often act out roles that they see their parents playing.
Future stages of your life will require some preparation. Retirement
years require financial savings earlier in life. Career years require
educational preparation. Marriage and family require a lot of learning
about getting along with other people, there are a lot of
prerequisites to be met to make one's self attractive (mentally and
physically) to potential mates, and a lot of research to be done to
find the right person to be one's "lifetime soul mate".
So, even though you cannot plan the future precisely, you can
put some things in the early stages to prepare you for future stages.
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